Attraction, Repulsion and Non-attachment

Patanjali Yoga Sutra “Attraction, and through it, attachment, is towards anything that brings pleasure. Repulsion is from anything that causes Pain”

Attraction causes attachment. Repulsion causes detachment. Our world generally revolves around different degrees of attraction and repulsion. It is similar to talking about hot and cold. They sound opposite but are just different scales of temperature. When we say hot we generally do not mean boiling hot and when we say cold we do not necessarily mean freezing point. Our world revolves around different degrees of temperatures and similarly it revolves around different degrees of attachments and detachments.

Hot is not bad or good. Attachment also is not necessarily good or bad. Similarly detachment also is not necessarily good or bad. Detachment from this world does not make any one holier than thou either. Krishna uses a word, “Kama.” Energy of kama operates in both attraction and repulsion (see Gita verses below). Kama is the root for words like kamadeva (god of Kama) and Kama sutra (the famous book about sexual energy). Kamadeva uses bow and arrow as well, but his arrows have flower at the end. There is no surface injury but there may be deep repercussions from that arrow.

We know of common attractions and feel happy about being attracted to some one dear. We get married because we are attracted to our spouses. We get children out of love and we love our children out of attractions too. The big question is if we are in attraction to any one of these relations all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. Do we some times feel repulsed? Do we think of divorce and do we sometimes go through the process of divorce. Life for most of us swings between attraction and repulsion.

Who knows better about attraction and repulsion more than the moviemakers or politicians? President Obama can not do anything wrong if you are a democrat. You must have watched the movie, “Superman.” The character is created to attract you. Superman is a super hero.

Super attraction:

I once was talking with a politician friend in India. He mentioned that once you taste the powers of politics, you would like to work for any one else. I had an opportunity to travel with him once and I could see why. The roads were cleared. There were no red lights or speed limits and there were escort cars in front and in the back. There is no body to question them but they can question anybody and everybody. Does it explain why they hold on to their powers?

Patanjali Yoga Sutra- “By being nonattached to even these powers, The seed of bondage is destroyed. Then follows kaivalya, liberation.”

Yet, there are other attractions that supersede these ordinary attractions. Spiritual powers produce the ultimate attractions and attachments. They are the hardest ones to give up. We do not even know about them because we hardly come across any of them powers. Swami Ramakrishna had one such dilemma. He could visualize mother Kali in his meditation (dhyana). He was able to converse with her at will. We cannot even imagine how he could get to this level. But, he wanted to go beyond to nirakar Samadhi (the ultimate abode). He had to take help of his Guru Totapuri. The story goes that his Guru advised Swami Ramakrishna to divide mother kali in two pieces.
“How do I do that” asked Ramakrishna.
“Use a sword” answered Totapuri
“Where do I get a sword.”
“Same place you got Ma Kali” said Totapuri

Ramakrishna was a smart person. He finally gets the sword but is unable to use it on mother Kali. How can he kill mother Kali who he has been worshipping and communicating with all these years. There was attraction; there was attachment. Totapuri offered to cut his forehead with a glass and he did and at that very time Ramakrishna used the sword on Ma Kali. She was gone and Ramakrishna was in his final abode.

There are similar stories of attractions posed by Mara before Buddha got enlightened. The path of spirituality is full of attractions. Many get stuck at various levels where they are happy showing minor miracles. Their progress gets impeded and they may have to start fresh from that point at a later date.

So, what is non-attachement:

Not attachment happens out of realization. It is knowledge and awareness happening together. It is not something that can be practiced. It is not a choice; in fact such a person lives in choice-lessness. He simply knows what he has to do and where he has to go. It is as if a new vision has happened; as if a new set of glasses or contact lens has been worn. I am myopic and I know the difference without glasses and with glasses.

Let us try to understand with a simple example. You are walking along. Let us presume you can see. There is a tree in front of you and there is a wall on the left. There is a path that swerves around the tree on the right. You have to keep going. It is obvious that you will not try to go through the wall or the tree. You will take the path on the right because you can see the tree and the wall clearly.

It is simple to understand this example of a tree. Attraction and repulsion or let us say attachment and detachment is a different story. It is a moving target. The level and quality of attraction changes on a spiritual path as described above. Yet, if the reality of non-attachment is understood, the path becomes as clear as the example of the tree. He can see attachment and he can see non-attachment. He does not react; he responds.

Attachment and detachment both produce expectations. I am planning to visit my son. Every time he comes home I go and pick him up. He should come and pick me up is my expectation. I am disappointed if he does not show up. He can see the disappointment in my eyes and gets upset. He expects me to understand why he could not come. I do not understand because he could have done x y or z to make it happen. I could be nice and try to understand his situation. I could be detached and not care if he comes or not. If I am non-attached, I am happy if he comes and happy if he does not. I can see the attachment, I can see the expectations, I can see the frustrations and most important of all I can see the vicious cycle that will start by disappointments and frustrations.

A non-attached person still walks, still enjoys the scenery and still picks up the fruits on the path. He simply knows the ultimate truth of non-attached existence. Attachment and detachment are construct of our minds; they do not really exist. They start with our births and end with our deaths and once the truth is really known, they do not exist even during those times. Life goes on without attachment. Nothing changes on the outside, yet everything changes inside.

Resource:

http://www.krishnauniverse.com/Gita-English-Verses/gita-verses/Chapter-3.html

3:36 to 3:42